torment!

screwed

2009-06-27T19:32:00.000-07:00

haha i actually remembered my pass after so long, *claps*! =)
reason why im blogging is , cant find other way of release.ive stopped cutting for good =)

wake up every morn thinking of what ive lost,what i can no longer have.wondering what if i didnt rush into things,or what if i hadnt ended it so abruptly,maybe it would have been better for me.maybe not =/ maybe what im going thru now is the best ending i could have =)

lost him,but havent lost myself.at least i haven lost myself.
just that memories are killing me zzz.
i kept saying its too good to be true frm the start,he convinced me otherwise,now hes the one backing out first.
his words doesnt hold , now i know.
yeah things change when feelings change.
ironic how he was the one who started things,but the first to back out.
i ditched him okay,but doesnt feel like it.
hes taking it so much easier than me,not fair =(((
okay i know , v drama.
details goes to my dairy =)
lyrics for now.

"Missing Me"

I love the way it feels when you touch my hand

Don't wanna let you go

I love the way you say that I am your girl

Don't understand why we can't go on and go on

Don't understand why

You don't belong in my arms

Ohh

And even if I cried a thousand tears tonight

Would you come back to me

And even if I walked on the water

Would you come out to sea

Now I can't spend my life standing by

Cause even when I miss you

You're still not missing me

It's funny how my heart just won't let it go

I just don't understand

It's crazy how the pain seems to overflow

The memories of you here with me by my side

I can't deny that you are the love of my life

Ohh

And even if I cried a thousand tears tonight

Would you come back to me

And even if I walked on the water

Would you come out to sea

Now I can't spend my life standing by

Cause even when I miss you

You're still not missing me

And I still cry for you

And I would die for you

I can't believe all the words I heard you say

And I still long for you

And I was strong for you

I can't believe that you'd throw it all away

I still cry for you

I would die for you

I can't believe all the words I heard you say

I still long for you

I was strong for you

I can't believe that you'd throw it all away

And even if I cried a thousand tears tonight

Would you come back to me

And even if I walked on the water

Would you come out to sea

Now I can't spend my life standing by

Cause even when I miss you

You're still not missing me

I still cry for you

I would die for you

I can't believe all the words

I heard you say

I still long for you

I was strong for you

I can't believe that you'd throw it all away

Now I can't spend my life standing by

Cause even when I miss you

You're still not missing me

2009-03-25T09:37:00.000-07:00

what else can i do but wait for the bad news to hit home.
apparently,miracle is not in anyone's dictionary anymore.

2009-03-14T08:31:00.000-07:00

out with eileen today,suppose to watch hes just not that into you,but all thats left is 2 far far apart sits.so we went swensens to eat,& i told her what i had to.i still feel stupid everytime i mention it to anyone.
so i regretted not having secret recipe for dinner,the aglio olio at swensens sucks big time.with coriander & parsley,i feel like im eating herb garden.then we went down to andersons for ice cream.me vanilla, eileen belgium chocolate(again).then we strolled really slowly to the MRT station.n.m. done tonight really,just some serious girl's talk.so regret not going down to harbour front for Han's.
i pray for more chances like this to hang out with friends,to cam whore since we missed the chance tonight.i pray for company.

in case you arent informed,i think i just lost a friend who dont give a heck bout this sinking friendship.

2009-03-06T18:57:00.000-08:00

backk to posting!!congrats to me.CT was disastrous this time round,failed 2 subjects.which is disastrous.but getting 3 As even out the disaster lol.well i do badly for my bad subjects but goodly for my good subjects right.so i guess its a balance.

i was whining to Pak Hon the whole of last night,& he couldnt give me a 100% convincing statement so i went to ask for it from Dyan.after last night,i am convinced my 6 sense is as sharp as my dog's sense of smell for food lol.so i heard all the negative stuffs & am trying to change.but i dont think i can succeed,its a habit.i dont even know it when im doing it.how am i suppose to be aware of it.nvm,im talking to myself agn.

so back to real life,i wasnt invited to go sakae & im guessing its because they think im gonna hate or discriminate against some of the ppl invited & reason?'im too arrogant to accept them'.how am i suppose to help when ppl misread my intentions.

so no sakae,service sucks anyway.& we went pizza hut & ordered a full table of food when thers only 4 person at the table.4 pizzas,1 baked rice, 5 coke, 5 soup, 4 drumlets, 1 warm chocolate cake with ice cream.good thing lee min forgot to order her salad.& we didnt order garlic bread.so we finished everything and walked out to proceed to xi qiang's house-R Royal Dragon (inside joke).then sat down on his bed,he issued 2 lappys,& i checked my mail while greg teach lee min how to play mahjong on viwawa lol.then we put away the lappys & started to really play mahjong with a mj set.its only fun when i win haha.& lee min had beginners luck, got alot of good tiles.but she just cant get the last tile she needs lol.so end up always greg win.the gambling king.
so we will continue with our mj trail l8r at my house!

-the end-

2009-02-26T04:41:00.000-08:00

EL & AMATH CT over.i have a feeling i just scrrewed both.its just worst for amath.im screwed.the emotions from sec 2 seemed to have been brought over today, its like bile coming back up your throat.so i had alot to whine about today,pardon me.no wonder im annoying.
so i went with gab to pack lunch at my market,& i had to get Ben & Jerry's.Emotional binging?lol.
so i came home,watched Tom & Jerry & project runway.till six,i went to have my nap till 7.30.woke up feeling very lonely,no idea why.the only possible reason i came up with wasnt what i agreed with so when you feel lonely,go MSN!thats what i did and why im here.MSN is like satelite for me which is like Singapore or smth.its an analogy in case u catch no ball.

so thats abt all for my life.at least a updated!

2009-02-14T20:13:00.000-08:00

yesterday was valentines,and also a gathering for the singles lol.Gab,Greg,Xi Qiang,Chin Long, Eileen n me went K!yay!fun n high like shit.at first we ended up at the wrong place n everyone (except me) were convinced that the day is screwed.but were proved wrong when we entered the room!muahahahahaha 3.45 till 8.more than 4 hours of singing,cheering n shrieking.yeah i think i stole the mike most of the time,singing jay songs till my throat no voice.n then after awhile we all stood on the sofa n like dance to the music lol.n after singing we clap n cheer, like some mini concert.thats about all we did for K.
after that Gab N CL had to go,n then xi qiang started giving flowers to the girls.so touched,we didnt expect his Levi's bag to have roses zzz.went lai lai for dinner,added noodle.the plate was damn big, i was like stuffing myself with noodle, wth.
yesterday was a great day, apart frm my thoughts that disturbed me frm 7 onwards.

emotions are meant to be hidden,which is why they cant be seen.

2009-02-06T03:22:00.000-08:00

baked blueberrrrry muuffins.with the frozen blueberries mummy & daddy bought.lol.act cute right,nehmind.this batch is so not fluffy enuf.cannot fly one.
so i failed choir audition time & agn,but i have a choice, to give up or endure.but it will be the forth time,how am i suppose to belieeve i would make it this time when i failed thrice.
(P)(me passing audition this time)=1/4.
miss yeo be happy,i know the format.
sry,i dont have any n am lazy to update photos...im not pretty enuf to zi lian oso,so no emo or bitchy photos to post.
im troubled,but obviously no one cares cuz my prob would always be the one having minimal impact compared to anyone elses.
off to dinner & dear dairy.

2009-01-30T06:08:00.000-08:00

okkaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy.since i dont wanna delete my blog agn..i shall update.i attended superteen,so must write here right.must be cliche.everybody mentioned it , & everyone mentioned cute Ken & Peter.nobody mentioned ernest..okay thats all i remember of superteens.
school was boring as usual,choir was worst.& thers choir like 2moro..im still not prepared to accept it.like prolly my body wouldnt register n i wouldnt wake up till 4pm..lol.boring is all i can say for choir.but i cant do anything bout it.so am i suppose to embrace it like Miss Yeo said.hope not.
so i owe zl 100g of famous amos, cuz she didnt manage to cry in superteens.blame me for not knowing she doesnt have a heart.
okay at least i updated,give me a clap.
bye,off to amercian idol.

2009-01-27T06:30:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR @))( oops forgot numbers no caps 2009!
just to give blog life.

2009-01-12T03:56:00.000-08:00

Nvm if i hate choir so much that im depressed for tonight, and maybe a few nights more.
STOP TAKING AWAY MY PRECIOUS ONE & ONLY SATURDAY...
so now i have no free days for myself, thx to freagin choir.
NO FREE DAYS.how can anyone live with that.
tell myself 5 more months to go,not that hard when youre ther.

ok my goal.study study, fly fly, abroad abroad.
i wanna live where mountains,rivers,grasslands,seas,beaches,farms,forests are easily within reach.a place where u can have a life even without phones,tvs, or laptops.
thats my goal,i shall work for it, & nvm choir.

2009-01-07T05:52:00.000-08:00

now that you can see,i wanna tell you wad i can see too =D

i can see hes the kindof guy with the great looks,but who thinks looks can pay for all his wrongdoings.

i can see hes the kind that doesnt care bout others,selfish for himself,always dissapointing ppl who cared to love & trust him.

yeah sure,he can say alot of 'im sorry's , do alot of 'explainations' (which are more like reasons),but nvr repents.

Great guy to hang out with if you cant see with your heart,but a very disgusting guy to even look at if you do.

2009-01-01T03:45:00.000-08:00

so i suddenly became curious halfway thru choinging hw n decided to search for this:
why do seeds know which way up to grow?
& then i found the answer which was this:
the underlying force for growth is gravity.
& also many other possible factors like these:
-Magnetism: some bacteria can use magnetism to indicate way is up (although this would not be possible around the magnetic equator), but I am not sure that plants would use the same.
-Heat: cold nights and warm days are up, while a more steady temperature would be down. I suspect the differential is not that great over the short height of the average seed to make this a plausible mechanism.
-Light: especially in seed that are not too deep in the ground, there must be some light getting through from the surface.
-Water: they may not actually care that much as to which way is up, but care more where they can get their next drink, so they smell water from the water table below.

source:http://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/index.php?topic=9181.msg211460;boardseen

& plus,i came across other interesting facts like this:

The work Of Professor H.T.Hammel:EVERYTHING YOU WERE TAUGHT ABOUT OSMOSIS IS WRONG.

Osmosis is the reason that a fresh water fish placed in the ocean desiccates and dies. Osmosis is the reason that blisters form on fiberglass boat hulls. Osmosis is how waste products of metabolism enter and leave the blood stream. Osmosis determines how you, me and every living thing lives and dies. One would think that a civilization that spends billions of dollars every year on medical research would understand something as basic as osmosis. Wrong, wrong, wrong.Source: http://www.yarbroughlaw.com/Osmosis.htm

Or what about Root Pressure? Roots can squeeze water to the tops of trees? You what?. ROFLMAO. Sorry but every time I read about root pressure it makes me cringe.

Or maybe capillary action? In other words, a tree is a giant sponge capable of blotting water from below ground level to heights in excess of a hundred metres at flow rates that can exceeding a thousand gallons of water a day in a single tree.

Does the cohesion tension theory suck? How can leaves create suction when there are pores in them open to the air? Is it not like trying to suck water through a straw with holes in it?

source:http://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/index.php?PHPSESSID=49d23a445c3bc01743d28fee9f50f9e7&topic=1982.0

bye bye,back to choinging hw.

The better lot

2008-12-29T22:27:00.001-08:00

the prettier photos.my new blog song 'love you anyway' is wad ive been listening to in Tas lol,so enjoy =D

2008-12-28T05:44:00.000-08:00

how much more of nature can u get?Tasmania is beautiful!must.go.back.

2008-12-12T07:12:00.000-08:00

sorry if i appeared too keen in getting ppl to pity me,to sympathize with me when i told them whatever happened. but i mean,dont you do that too when ur confused or think youre wronged?who isnt born to need attention in the form of care & concern.but trust me,i did no adding of details,did nothing for the story to tailor fit me nor exagerated anything nor faked my suffering.

since my dads back,we keep going supermarket lol.pretty well stocked for the long in-total-10-hrs trip.cfm get fat.but thats not something to worry about lol.have to worry bout completing holiday hw..haix.how come i dont sound that excited now lol.nearer seems further?w.e.

i wanna cheer for my best girlfriend!youre gonna pull thru unscathed and out stronger.& play him back your style,that means have a powerful/ugly revenge lol.

2008-12-09T07:16:00.000-08:00

i feel blessed to have true friends like Nicole,Eileen,Pak Hon,Greg & Dyan.even if not friends,true ppl.

thanks alot for taking time to question the existence of ve-janelle blog for those who didnt really know me enuf to know im not crushing on Dennis.Pak Hon for example.thanks for asking 'why would keay hoon do such a thing?'.thx for getting pissed tgt with me,Nicole =D.thx to Eileen for asking 'have u ever thought wad if you were her?'.& i love Dyan for saying 'the veron i know ignores this crap'( not precise but somewher ther lol.) thx to greg for listening to me rant i guess.at least i could vent the anger for today.nth remarkable as to wad he said,but wad he did was nice.

its like hell to heaven when at first i thought the impression i give ppl was really that bad,& that ppl really think im such a cheap slut lol.but when u know many others have trust in you, it fights away the bad feeling,like idc anyway.its like trust:no trust is a ratio of 5:1.nvm dont noe how to express.

So im happy! =DDyay.

2008-12-09T04:52:00.000-08:00

ahem,yes i did tell mrs you.cuz i couldnt find someone to trust & whom trust me either,& she was the most unbiased in that case.i mean i was helpless,what was i suppose to do,cut myself?yeah i did ask wei qiang for help,i tot he could help clear the misunderstanding,i didnt noe u felt llike a dog.n i only asked him for help b4 i knew you dont like to listen to ppl explain in an arguement.

yeah seriously,the creator of the blog,stop plucking stuffs from my blog.what a coward.write more stuffs in your own words,wont you?

ok to my own life.so i went coffee bean at west coast plaza today with eileen n greg to 'do homework' haha.apparently not much was done.i was broke,had hard time digging coins.chat abit do abit till 5.30.eileen ps us,mum fetch her back.rode back imm,then do manicure!yay.the lady was nice,start chatting with me bout tattoos n piercing.cool lady.she was saying how coincidentally she got back the voucher she sold at bugis here at imm.& sayin how her friends wanna get mickey mouse,pikachu tattoos lol.

dads coming back 2moro,like finally.im gonna fly this sun!wootz.yayyayyay.

2008-12-08T07:38:00.000-08:00

oh yeah another thing, i can have better options with this kind of sacrifice.i can seriously get much better guys if im gonna sacrifice so much.wtf.

2008-12-08T07:09:00.000-08:00

I would leave the tags of not-my beloved reader as it is.visit 'my secret blog' if ud like.& then re-decide agn if u still wanna be my friend.just dont pretend to be a great friend,il get over you anyhow.
If anyone would believe i would put up some photo of pop tarts & my name on a blog yet still hope for ppl to not know its me,i know you just hate me.& if i did create that blog,i wouldnt be giving out that url like some flyers.
to the reader who isnt mine,you sound disgustingly jealous of my bangs.yeah ok thx for taking notice of me as a freaking choir junior.you must know me,since you know my history of rumours,& know i got a hair cut, & know my name ends with a 'hoon' although im pretty sure i havent got it anywher in my blog.
to Sawyi,i wouldnt noe u wanted to use that freagin blog link unless either u or your beloved bf told me.which im quite positive not,unless im a psycho who has split personality.btw,i have real friends and i know it.its not the first time this kinda stuff happen,now its just another chance to eliminate fake friends.

2008-12-04T02:51:00.000-08:00

so i came across 2 very interesting blogs today.maybe im a lil more than a sadist,getting interested in ppl's unhappy love life.maybe im not getting love so im happy they dont get it too lol.ok i seriously got nothing to blog about, just dont want my blog n tag board to be so dead.

went out with Eileen this monday,sat at cafe cartel & chat for damn long b4 our food was servd.the soup was goddamn diluted.main course was okay,a lil plain for my taste.dessert was some cheap marigold caramel pudding.boo.do not support machine made junk food!(cept hot dogs)
tried to find stuffs to do in that limited time while waiting for someone's confirmation of something.so we couldnt travel arnd,just stuck in the boring IMM for like 2 hours plus.so even though we were bloated,we went to eat anderson's.& plus even though im broke n am using my tuition fee.
after someone confirmed something,took this cranky bus that weaves thru jurong industrial place.took hell long & hell lots of stops to get to jp.made me want to throw up.we got stalked at jp,thnks to Eileen.yeah i still feel a lil inadequate when ppl asks for her no. not mine,like im nvr there.but surprisingly not like previous times.maybe i love myself more now lol.

10 more days.i shall try packing my stuffs now to get into the mood lol.been like a yr since iv been to changi airport,ate their food,take the slide-lator(i think its travelator),& ate plane food watch plane tv.woooooottz.excited.its been long since iv walked open markets in cold weather too.yay.ok 2nd nex thing to look forward to is my dad's arrival.hope he doesnt forget souveniers.yay.

2008-11-25T05:23:00.000-08:00

sorry ppl if i ever contradict myself.i dont know if you do, but i feel differently towards certain matter at different times of the day.like how one moment i decide to go on strict diet,the next moment im eating vanilla cupcakes with chocolate frosting.

btw,choir 2moro.makes me want to accidentally slp till 6pm.
oh,& iv decided to be fat this holiday.

2008-11-24T05:21:00.000-08:00

sorry if my blogs boring.i promised to not put emotions here anyway.dont wanna turn it into some sappy love blog that goes *dont wanna lose you.or * our love owns the world.ok thats not sappy enough,i haven gone thru anything to say those stuffs.but you get what im driving at.seriously,i dont noe any other way to make a blog interesting other than entertaining ppl with your love life.or if not il find a post interesting when it concerns me.i know,so full of myself right.haix.

so i had KFC delivery for dinner.cheesy meltz!& a untouched coconut pie.i just had doughnut bread-dessert b4 dinner.bloated.im gonna vomit cheese.went queensway & anchorpoint in the morn after choir.as usual,uncle toast cold storage.i got nic to treat me for lunch,im broke.i promised to repay when i have money agn though.like when i grow 21 & get my own job -_- nothing interesting today,how bout my dream for the three hours iv slept?like frm 4.30 to 7.30.wasted.but seriously,too tired to even dream.anyway,my dreams are too private for blogs =D

so im not updated bout her life AGN.& she goes like keep going out with ppl also nvr go out with me!like she even asked me out.im always the one initiating,she only suggests.plus shes always busy.unlike me,stay home watch Nigella Lawson cook.& trying out her recipes 1by 1.oh,that gives me an idea.i shall go watch Jamie cook now.

2008-11-21T02:29:00.000-08:00

1 image taken with web cam to show my new hair!lazy to plug phone.
went bugis/arab street with nicole yesterday.got pashmina scarf.
today choir,then watch Miss No Good till now.
obsessed.

2008-11-18T04:37:00.000-08:00

cashier

pop tarts!

wootz no specs nicole

the ancient make up tables

christmas deco at WCP

eating bento on bus,haiya nth to say.

why that expression?cuz she cant breath in or out deep.haha!

THANK YOU NICOLE PEK MIN QIAN FOR SACRIFICING HER DADDY'S CAR TRIP TO TAKE BUS WITH ME BACK HOME.sincere not.yes right.

so the convo went like:

me:

''OH MHY GOHD NICOLE!LOOK!CAVIAR LEH.''(bimbotic,i noe.)

nic:

'' eeww can u imagine it popping in your ear.''

me:

''u mean popping in your mouth.'

nic:

"oh ya la.what did i say just now?"

haha.lame or not,u rate la.

so yesterday penin for skinnies n queensway for uncle toast n green tee with ferris wheel.n laksa!for dinner.then b4 that we went cold storage at anchorpoint.like buried treasure city liddat.damn lot of goodies.rare goodies.

n today,morn breakfast with greg then jp library for tas travel guides.walk arnd,then he gets replaced by zl.lunched at banquet,eat some shitty food then left for the bluez wher i bought this girly girl contacts case.then chameleon to look at the hair extensions.then body shop to buy nail buffer for zl.n then,finally left for choir.choir?dont talk bout it.

after choir bused to clementi with nicole!frm ther take dunno wad bus to the new west coast plaza.pretty boring,but full of nice eateries.like oishi bakery,n we each bought 2 sour dough n sat at the 'slacking corner' to finish them.after finishing them,went down to cold storage AGN.haha still v fun cuz tis time we can buy stuffs.nic bought arnott's hundreds & thousands,its like this biscuit wit cream n colourful candy sprinkles.i bought pop tarts!argh.n she screamed/shrieked when she saw Jammy dodgers cookies.n screamed/shrieked agn when she saw this jap water.zzz.n took photos when she saw hokkaido chocos.n then screamed/shrieked agn when she saw the genuine milk tea frm jap. she succeeded wearing contacts!!woots cheers.but, she forgots that n keeps shifting her ''specs''. n covered her ''specs'' when we walked out of the shopping, to stop it frm fogging.invisible ''specs''.new invention eh.btw,we caught Saw Yi n Dennis.sweet sweet love birds at west coast.nicole had prob focusing while i totally cant see their faces.so we blindly waved.lol.

pretty ppl nvr lie,vampires nvr really die.

2008-11-17T07:27:00.000-08:00

More than a pet, your my best friend
Too cool to forget, come back
'Cause we are family
And forgive me for making you wanna roam
And now my heart is beating like the saddest metronome
Somewhere I hope you're reading my latest three-word poem:
Gary come home

spongebob rocks my sox.

2008-11-15T18:27:00.000-08:00

yesterday,
attended open house in the morn,performed 1 item then went home.ate,prepared to go the pines.loved the long bus ride,frm je to orchard to stevens rd.alone,no need to entertain anyone yay.reached,n i wasnt recognised lol.when i was, i was asked to take photo.after solemnisation, refreshments with dessert!only part i liked.sat at the table with like 7 of her friends.nth to do,so observe how adults behave.very typical, very boring.as usual, gossips la.
oops,forgot to mention.7 FEMALE friends.the way they laugh all the same.like scared laugh too loud, mouth open too wide their fake teeth will drop liddat.cannot even stand a single moment of silence,if not v awkward.so they would quickly say something like 'hmm,ya lor.' to fill up the emptiness after laughters.the 2 beside me was diff though.only that 2 cared to talk to me n include me in convo.so they talked bout music lol.the one beside me was exceptionally quiet,heng.she only asked 2questions.the rest of the time she was quiet like me.very occupied with her own thoughts.
left at 4 plus,decided to drop off at IMM for dinner.drank,sat,packed jap curry rice n bread home.settled my own dinner,settled my ddog's dinner then crashed into my coffin at 8.30pm.earliest time i ever died.purpose?to stop thinking.

2008-11-14T06:55:00.000-08:00

open house 2moro,endure.haix.afternoon ROM.semi-casual,wad to wear?ltr turn out like some immature teen with no brains.sian.so EILEEN really removed me frm her blog acc,claims that only her SPECIAL someone can have excess to it.freak.she doesnt care if one day i really am no longer her bff.much less bf,nor f.
oh yay i sould be happy for her.shes been waiting since forever.is it forbidden to blog bout this?nvm,nex time see her then say.haiya so she mature i childish lo.she do everything with brains i dont lo.born this way ma,how can help rite.rite.nvm.my posts are always random,sry luh.
okay so talk bout last nite.new upright grand too loud,upstairs come down complain i shudnt be playing piano after 12.then ok lo,they got work nex day.but my playing that bad?haha maybe.no one ever said it was good.
i have no idea wad shes going thru now,cuz all that shes willing to share with me has a limit.i haveno idea how to help her,n i cant.she claims that i dont give advice,only taunt her,but shes nvr taken my advice for this matter.maybe i am in no position to make her feel better either,only 1 person does n i bet hes feeling worst than her rite now.cm0n,ppl have real problems not purposely dig for problems to worry about -,='.so only he fits the bill.
& lastly,i have no idea how many ppl reads my blog n gets pissed off at the things i blog about without giving it much thought,but u have a choice to not visit me & my blog.

2008-11-11T08:02:00.000-08:00

Q1. The person that tag/ pass me this is?
eileen
Q2. The relationship between him / her is?
idk.4th best fren?
Q3. Your five expression of her / him is?
pretty,self-conscious,vain,emotional,indoor person
Q4. The most memorable he / she have done for you is ?
tiggleen.
Q5. The most memorable he & she have said to you is ?
Have you ever thought if its your problem.
Q6. If he / she become your lover you will ?
show off to her new bffl.
Q7. If he / she become your lover, thing she/he needs to improve on ?
start going zoo
Q8. If he/she becomes your enemy, you will ?
hate her,get revengful.
Q9. If he/she becomes your enemy , the reason will be ?
shes not caring for me enough
Q10. The most desired thing you wanna do for him/her is ?
nth for the moment.
Q11. Your overall impression on him/her is?
all guy's need.
Q12. How do you think the people around you feel for you ?
nth.they dont feel my existence.
Q13. The characters that i love about myself are ?
willingness to show my immaturity.lol.
Q14. On the contrary , what about the characters i hate about myself ?
over sensitive,easily jealous,n specially observant for details to get jealous abt.
Q15. The most ideal person you want to be is ?
myself.
Q16.For people that love, care and concern for you, you say something to them ?
youre a rare gem in my life!if youre genuine,that is.
7. Pass this quiz to 10 person that you want to know they think of you, they are?
1. Eileen.
2. nicole.
3. gabbie.
4. dean.
5. yx.
6. cheryl.
7. claire.
8. wei ting.
9. pei ying.
10. Pak Hon.
Qn 18) Who is no.6 having relationship with ?
I Don't Know .
Qn 19) No.9 is a male or female ?
female.
Qn 20) If No.7 & No. 10 is together, will it be a good thing ?
no.
Qn 21) What is No.2 studying about ?
everything i study
Qn 22) When is the last time you speak to No.3 ?
few days ago
Qn 23) What kind of music band No.8 like ?
mainstream R&B
Qn 24) Does No.1 have any sibilings ?
2 lil bro
Qn 25) Will you woo No. 3 ?
no
Qn 26) How about No. 7?
yes,man enuf.
Qn 27) Is No.4 single?
yes,if im updated.
Qn 28) What is the surname of No.5 ?
Ng
Qn 29) What is the hobby of No. 10 ?
dlding non-mainstream songs frm bands like story of the yr
Qn 30) Does No.5 & No. 9 get along well?
nop.strangers.
Qn 31) Where is No. 2 studying at ?
Fuhua sec
Qn 32) Talk something casually about No.1 ?
casual?nthings casual bout her.
Qn 33) Have you tried developing feelings for No. 6 ?
no
Qn 34) Where does No.9 lives at ?
hehe no idea
Qn 35) What colour does No.4 like ?
purple.hes gay.
Qn 36) Are No.5 and No. 1 good friends?
almost.
Qn 37) Is No. 7 the sexiest person in the world ?
no.man-est.
Qn 38) What is No. 6 doing now ?
slping?

2008-11-11T05:46:00.000-08:00

so me n nic met je pop at 12,then waited till round 12.30 for zl.rode on 105for like 45 min,then reached.first thing zl wanted was the loo.zzz.so we cam whore while waiting for her.after loo we went eat hans.still as expensive & delicious.after hans,goth shop!with the 'goth' guy.cool goth guy.he looked hot,i mean when im not having my specs/contacts on.then we went out,tour around,bought slogan tee, met shuwen n others,went for our extensions(agn).then we returned to goth shop.nic say want take pic with him,i say want take no.lol.so i said i wanna get some non-mainstream stuffs as an excuse to go back.lol immature bitch rite.but hanging frm the stupid cosplay cloaks n metallic jackets were red slips with numbers like $70,$225...wth.dont have reason to go cashier take photo rite.lol.after tt went shopping for my stretchy tee n arm warmers.n red slim belt.left far east arnd 4.30,went wheelock buy shortbread thhen go borders sit on carpet.then daydream awhile b4 we left for the busstop.174 took like 1 hour 15 min to reach jp.reach jp met greg, in the end decide go house dwnstairs market eat lol.jp damn crowded.so after dinner,here i am.btw,piano arriving 2moro =D

three of us at far east toilet.

just b4 eating at hans.

first slogan tee,hope this doesnt make me a bitch.or maybe i dont qualify..

skully lady's boxers!calvin klein.cool rite.

new stretchy shirt & arm warmers!excuse my fats.

dunno if posted b4,but at anchorpoint with nic.toilet of course.

after sentosa trip,b4 dinner.

after hair extension today,at far east.

tarot card reading , mon during choir break.

sentosa waters.

2008-11-09T06:44:00.000-08:00

so eileen has a new bffl.so what am i now.excuse me for hallucinating/being paranoid.but the whole world is hiding stuffs from me.like as usual,i dont matter enuf for ppl's concern.like nvr the 1st.maybe ul say,get use to it already.but im tryin!
ok.so i got my 'new' piano.kawaii upright grand.hope i dont regret for this.
i got a few wishes to make today:

i wish il not be the last person a friend would ask out for dinner,because all the others are busy & hes/shes left with no choice.& maybe hed/shed think ah!keay hoon of course.she has no social life!
i wish ppl do call me for no reason,like call me so that they can chat & laugh with me,not ask me for the timetable,for stuffs to bring, for the location of their samsung phones.same thing for sitting beside me.
i wish ppl say & do wad they mmean, & keep their mtfu promises,so il kick my bad habit that everyones getting irritated with.that is,to doubt everyone around me n start whining bout it.
i wish i really am myself, in front of everyone else.
i wish for a miracle.

that is all for tonight, i believe wishes do come true, especially mine.

nvm if you call me a naive lil girl who just read her cinderella storybook n belive her prince does exist, as long as i get what i want.

m'sia trip

2008-11-03T02:30:00.000-08:00

spongebob cushion,bought at the damn crowded pasar malam,PD.

bored till i bought colour pencil,sharpener n malay version ugly duckling book to colour.

breakfast,low calorie sugar!perrrfect.

salad table,n my mum eats fruits.haha.

half eaten pastry,not v nice.i just liked the name.

sis with chick.poor chick.force feeding lol.

me with chick n rooster.i look pale,nvm.

nice night scene.

the grand chalet next to ours,mysterious cuz no one ever stays here.

nice lobby.

me!haha of course.

funny family.notice the phantom hand beside my dad.

tiggleen at the balcony!we were fishing,obviously no fish.

sis in bathroom naked!haha.

nice room with nice beds.Avillion,the right choice.lol.

& i bought shirts,lots of shirts and ate lots of junk food.breakfast is great when its on a buffet table.

happy bday

2008-11-03T02:08:00.000-08:00

me n weiting!

present frm cousin.necklace with lots of jewel lol.

mocha bear with mocha scent from my dad from a charity in africa.

mushroom from claire,qian yu,nicole & luvenne.thx!

doraemon puzzle from greg.thx to this he wasted 3 msges to malaysia haha.thank you for time spent oso.

tigger frm eileen!il name it tiggleen haha.she claims to owe me choco n hug.but i dont think so.i think she gave up =/

yay so i matter.didnt wait till 12am on 29th,but woke up to 7 msges.thx to yx eileen n peggy for their 12am msges.others include gabbie,razi,weiting,nicole,zann,greg & dean?lol though abit late but still got send la.peiying oso.though not alot,but i really appreciate the effort =) presents?iv only got 5 but still uploaded.this is all for my bday lol.boring,but at least i went fish n co to eat cajun salmon with chips.plus pecan chocolate cake.1 slice nia.thx to all those who bothered to buy me presents and send me msges =D

2008-10-29T07:35:00.000-07:00

so i got this mushroom from claire,qian yu,luvenne,nicole on the eve of my bday.i was shocked to be called out of choir for that.but thx to them all who took the effort to buy me a present.& i suddenly realise my mum is good -_____________________- i cried like a baby all over agn when my dad claims for my bday to be over when he remembers my bros like so darn clearly.

eileen's chalet on 27th wasnt v fun but ok la we got to slack in a air con room with bed full of sand.she was M.I.A for the whole time.so i chat with gab greg the gay xq & all.we sang jay song.n smelt deans beery breath.and got treated as non-living pillows.& played cards,watched greg dance and eileen's bro scream.and him getting dumped into the dustbin for like 3 times whenn i ws there lol.& then me n gab cycled on the 2sitter bike.we screamed and sweat like some animals lol.but it was fun though my hair just flew anyhow.

headstart is uber boring.especially mt.we eat,chat,slp.wad else can we do.worried bout dropping higher mt if i dont get an A.A is impossible for chinese,so i guess i need miracle.im not practicing r wadsoever oso lol.

so il see if i matter tonite at 12am.nites.

2008-10-24T21:40:00.000-07:00

so eileen and me went orchard on thurs.we watched butterfly lovers,had hans(finally!),had extensions.and she went to get a new earpiece too.dont noe how she torture her stuffs,always have to repair.i wore my encore brown contacts out, and looked like a reptile.according to some, intimidating =D i like intimidating!but very subtle diff, cant tell frm far.so not very worth the money if ur going for impact.ehh but only $15 luh!wad more can u ask for.very comfy for me,better than acuvue.
so my europe trip is cancel.iv felt the disappointment for more than twice,each of this several times iv made myself drift off to lalaland.very very very sad =( iv been anticipating it for months, survived the stupid exams cuz i tot i was gonna fly on a boeing to reach london and see fairyland.stupid.assholes.
iv been spending money like crazy, broke already.but i want to spend mmore.& i wasted my precious 6 bucks on the stupid beanie which im not gonna have the chance to wear it afterall.even mrs you noes how suay i am.haix.

anyway,only upcoming event to look forward to is eileens bday chalet.gonna have to buy present,dunno wad to buy.hope bday girl will be happy.

2008-10-22T03:29:00.000-07:00

i shall post on the 2nd day of the freaking elearning which was suppose to be our free day since its marking day u dumbass-s!iv been staring at this screen frm 1 till now..well not totally elearning but still tiring right.neck breaking, eye drying, always error-ing elearning.stupid elearning.

anyway,yesterday.first ever sentosa trip with 3S4s!was fun luhs until last 1/4 of the day.i was moody.like i think maybe pms.cuz i found myself being whiny and irritating and A.S.but no,i was just sad cuz no one cares except lee mmin lol.at least after eileen left.so we swam,hit balls on sand, swam agn, ate ham sandwich with a lil salt, then i went 7 eleven with yx n dyan to get mineral water.but we stayed for longer then expected cuz we ate maggie mee,nasi lemak and tokyo curry rice while the rest dehydrated.& we bought 3 cookies for $2!it was freaking nice.cuz it was sugary and chocolatey.

the wierdest part was having mr tan--the teacher i thought i hate most,teaching me how to play volleyball right with me wearing only a black pants and a black bra -,=' it was dumb and awkward.good thing i was depressed,or i would be worrying bout laughing myself silly.btw,i chewed on sand like 4 times yesterday.but it tasted nice!like grinding sugar bwtween your teeth,just not sweet but salty.haha!ok im wierd but its true.

so i stopped thinking bout how the gang would call me to 'fuck off you fat whiny needy selfish irritating lying self-obssessed bitch!' today,after slping at 10.30 last nite.i think i was too tired to think and function right.so sorry to all those who had to tolerate me.thank you to those who tried their best to not hate me, especially the fat jian yang lol.

2008-10-15T07:28:00.000-07:00

bad bad day for me.had real bad stomach ache,used it as an excuse to skip choir.but it wasnt an excuse!it was really not tolerable.i was sweating cold sweat--that bad okay.even the trip home was looooong,i had to rest at the void deck halfway -,= not exegerrating okay.so came home at 4.30,bathed,slept till 8.waste time right.nvm,i dont feel guilty anymore.thats all about today.

so Eileen + me went plaza sing on mon,since it was marking day.it was fun,though i spent so much money on dunno wad,but nothing significant cept maybe the fake eyelashes i bought to try on.so i went Yamaha showroom to look at the pianos i want,definitely what i want just so out of budget.so im torn between sacrificing my own money for the good one,or getting a second hand kawai.which might be disappointing,i might wanna change agn like 5 yrs down the road.must well buy expensive one right.$9000+, ppl say my dads back will break =(

anyway,exam results.passed everything except amath,but mostly Bs hell lota Cs.cept for bio.which i got a gargantuan pencil that can shade OMRs in a dot for.credits to Miss Chan =DD sstill got my big name,n hearts haha.while tth got sotong.nice nice teacher,way better than Mr Tan.

tts all for today,i hope everyone stays happy even when THE SITUATION DONT ALLOW.

i mean above.since blogger screwed me.

2008-09-20T06:35:00.000-07:00

Hui Wen & me,be yourself day.well i was going for hip hop..
yeah.class bonding in the toilet.hui wen,me,claire,nic.qian yu wasnt keen to be in the photo though.
canvas shoes rules.of course,qian yu was left out agn.haha.

baby back for first day
baby with pacifier!& in my arms :))

frm left:

shu wen,ze ling,nicole,tuan he,wei qiang,me.

our fruits & animals family.taken durin one of miss wongs cme lesson in the lab,when wer suppose to research for forgot who.

tired tired day

2008-09-20T06:04:00.000-07:00

weekends have become nothing but complete-your-papers-day.sucky.EOY is not the end for me, i have extras.o lvl chinese.mhy god.i wish for the universal remote control,to fast forward to december!when i would be in sarawak frm 1st-4th(il promise to survive even if i get psed) and touring london,france,paris frm 12th-25th.il have a real christmas for once.cheer for me.and when i get back..one whole yr of stress.but who cares..i wanna get over wit EOY!so that i can get coloured contacts,paint my nails with P.I.N.C vouchers frm my music teacher.i wanna wear them both while on tour,along wit my heavily studded shades.

btw,we surprised zl with a brought forward bday celebration.waited for her outside cristofori,stalked her for 15 min,lighted the candles abit-too-late with shivering hands.but the cake was great.1cm worth of creamy choco coating,with another layer of 1cm thick whipped cream that tasted like melted marshmallows.sinful.but heavenly.thats the Boston choco cake frm Bread Talk.try it when u want a different kind of pleasure.left her house at 5pm,attempted to get out of the condo for 15mins b4 finally askin her for directions.we circled the condo when all we had to do was turn right.Right.so,after all the sweating,walking, and secondhand serenades-stranger,we reached jp.n shopped for bf tees!thx to nics idea.i bought a hot pink one,hoping it would stand out in my closet.it did,n fits me when id thought it wouldnt.nex thing to get-tie and thin belt.prolly a XL white shorts.so im goin girly-girl.

congrats to zl for havin ur first contacts.and thx to me for your success in inserting them.someone shud refer nana to me.pictures below

2008-09-14T07:57:00.000-07:00

ok.time for update.to feed tis blog.got a haircut,unsatisfactory.i need somethin new,like colours.but we have friggin house rules.dang.adults are freaks who thinks dyes contains chemicals that makes u stupid.

more updates some other days.nites.

i love the whole world.

2008-08-30T09:58:00.000-07:00

boom de ada boom de ada boom de ada boom de ada!

went kbox wit eileen today! 2-7pm.tired like shit, but still stayin up for it started with a kiss 2 =DD

headache throat ache body ache..haas.with eileen got so much songs to sing..shes the chinese songs expert for sure.had to sing along some really high songs n my voice was sucky!breaks like a guy's.n sounds like some ah gua.but eileen's was real good for high songs.sounds so like a star.but she cant do low i can!thats something good i think.we can sings good duets..i think. =DD

anyway.my lil bro was out last afternoon.all he can do is slp right now, so nth much.pictures?some other day.to lazy n tired...its onli cuz im linking pakky n in response to leen's tag then i post.

oh yess!saw my long lost bffl yesterday.haha now shes full of muscle.went her house,slacked while watchin scv.not much gossip.n i psed wei qiang.haas but i apologised!

end my post here.its too random to continue.nites

shades!!!!!!

2008-08-26T07:24:00.000-07:00

went queensway...AGN!arghh still spent like 60 bucks.5 bucks on fooood =)toasts are like sooooooooooo cool.& vanilla soda pop!n the uncle toast.haha.'why so lil ppl?no more treasure hunt?'lol.
help clair buy her silky white tie at 20 bucks.v chio!thought i bought it from this cool guy shop with this cool middle age lady who intro nic to wear this cool guy shirt.but apparently didnt look too cool on nic =( the cutting is for flat chested ppl with no waist.haha!thats a guy i noe.so..nic and up buyin this pastel pink tie.while i finally got my olive-green diamond-studded 30-bucks shades!and my crazy skull tee!haha satisfation.oh,n i got this giant safety pin with crosses & skulls dangling off it.but i swear, im NO christian.crosses can mean so many diff things...like on your test papers?dunno why ppl so sensitive.especially the older ppl.haix.so nic is old.

ok!im wearing hip hop on fri!while claires gonna pull it off with her usual baggy style.n nic,pastel coloured barbie doll lol.yay!getting my jay jig saw puzzle frm nic 2moro!i have to agree now, money really does buy happiness sometimes.so, am i growing up now?

shopping!

2008-08-23T10:51:00.000-07:00

went shopping with claire & nic at penin-boring.the real shopping started at queensway!too bad claire had to go chinatown learn chinese.bought 2 shirts, 1 shoe, playboy earrings, this cool necklace on which i carved my name on & it just looks uber cool.like elegant kinda cool.& of course, my breaking dawn from the author i so so adore =D yeah satisfied wit my purchases.but i cant forget the cool blackish-green shades with diamonds at the side..haix 30 bucks.big investment to me.but il prolly get it nex thurs with tree n grass while they get their glow in the dark shutter shades! =)) arghh queensway rawkssss.friendly ppl + lots of teenage accessories whether emo or punk or hip hop or casual + good bargains = great place to invest your money.

was not very happy with life after i got back.so i went dlding songs like crazy.chiodos is a goood band!yeah im abit slow.they are still sooo good.go check out their 'intensity in ten cities'.not noisy, trust me.well i have to keep to my friends' suggestion of keeping me blog peaceful & quiet.or il have like more 3 days grace, breaking benjamin, chevelle, emery etc etc.

to you

2008-08-22T05:18:00.000-07:00

hmm..understanding & compromising?so thats the theory uv arrived at?
i dont noe realli..i dont think i undersstand you at all.you used to say Yi Han does that alot better than me.i tried to, but maybe i didnt try hard enuf.all i can do is guess wads making u have all those roller coaster mood swings that, i think, u might enjoy suffering from.
you dont compromise much either, do u?il take wad u say n ponder about them, try to convince myself to be unselfish in this friendship. il go play bball wit u, even when i feel so humiliated.& not to mention, awkward.il end up going to the pool with u, after assuring myself over and over agn on the train, even when i was tired.i stomached the unhappiness when ur soul & mind isnt really there when we hang out.& most of the time, wer spending time together to resolve your problem and improve your mood when u felt dejected.i was always willing to spend time with u when u were distraught.well, maybe its because im not that popular with guys?so i nvr have that big a problem to be bothered?or maybe u didnt realised.that i nvr had the chance to share my problem wit u.& maybe, my problem was always too minor to be given attention to.why?because its not a guy problem?

i dont noe how u feel really.maybe u think ur the one suffering in this relationship.maybe u think im the selfish one who doesnt try to submit to our disputes.who doesnt understand and sympathise with you when you were suffering.maybe if u would just open up a lil, it would have been better.trust me, it takes alot to know ur bummed but ur not confiding in me.it makes me feel so...inadequate.yes i am fully aware, im not a good friend, that Yi Han is always better.& so is ur clique.you are, most of the time, saying hurtful things & making cruel comments i have to tolerate with.its not really my neglect to complain to others, its not that im not understanding or compromising, but i needed release.

you are the incomparable friend that i would want to keep for life, that i would love to constantly hang out with & not get tired of, who i would want to be across the table while enjoying ice cream, and to gossip while shopping with.all this, when we do not disagree with each other.you didnt want this friendship to turn out this way, neither do i.maybe time will heal.

hard to embrace love,to embrace you.

2008-08-19T07:07:00.000-07:00

i am so devoted to STEPHENIE MEYER.
thx so much to her for keeping my life interesting haha.at least for the past few days it had.well, of course im gonna get breaking dawn next.her idea of love is so fascinating.but it makes me sad to know it doesnt really exist, that what ppl make of it is a faux.its not that brave i think, humans are selfish. so self-centered, makes me feel disgusted.but we still have to live =((

well at least i have not-so-real but not-that-hard to imagine characters like Spongebob, Doraemon, Mr Bean, Tom, Jerry, Melanie, Bella.they keep me occupied when im sad =(.& plus i like them on my TV screen.that is why i dont switch off my TV often haha.

& some others that are solid evidence that i am still alife, like Eileen, Nicole, Claire, Yong Xiang.the former, more for happy times.we dont get along well when wer both emo.the 3 latter, always lame.always happy,(cept when their results are not that good)they make me laugh at the back of the class during lesson & taught me to snack in class.wer forever laughin with Claire & Nic.Yong Xiang always that fat,happy,bouncy pig.no situation is awkward wit him.always so irritating haha.
i noe ,the former have always no time for me,always so concerned bout everyone,every single thing around her.she can be the main character in the next book of Stephenie Meyer.haix.iv gotten used to it.just not that happy with getting used to it.sometimes,like her,i think more then what im expected to.& then il go into a state of self-denial.

as always.yeah tis post prolly gross you out, over-dramatic =( must be the aftermath of The Host.

but,sometimes, i really wish i could master the skill of annihilation.

postpostpost

2008-08-17T06:45:00.000-07:00

ahhh...ok i shall answer the prayers of my 2 good frenz and update my pretty blog =D
was engrossed in the host..not a bad read afterall.getting interesting with all the romance and acceptance.though abit draggy, and not quite my language with all the unexplained terms, but love is a universal language =D haha ok no link.
apart frm that, the other not-so-boring activity today was pedicure.i chose a fugly colour =( regretted.but i couldnt tell!cuz the 'pretend nails' were white not flesh colour kinda pink.
oh anyway,while coming back frm my 2hour piano lesson,i saw cherminn with my valentine--soh chin.nm.just chat abit.crack a lil lame jokes.talk a lil bout unfinished hw.& upcoming test.(even when commen test was just over)
haix.i noe im random with my post.my life isnt that interesting.and besides, my best fren's blog is entertaining enuf.=DD well,at least i got to watch 27 dresses but she didnt.& i finished meet dave,get smart and space chimps.she didnt!n im so gonna watch wad happen in vegas nex.

ok.i think thats about all of my boring life.till my lil bro comes out at least.and to nic & eileen,both stay happy =D dont worry unnecessarily.

2008-08-07T07:21:00.000-07:00

i did not reopen this blog to be judged. Yeah thats a very important point i have to make.What ever i do not put in words, do not assume.anyway,you get nothing out of assuming.emo or not, so what?get a life.
btw,having practical exam 22nd.not prepared at all XD i hope thats really the case for all..since the schedule was like screeeeewed.so went all the way to bukit timah.braved the heavy rain & nature walk all the way to my teachers condo just for an hour + of piano lesson haha.but nice view and smell!how bout a hotel on the tree top with,dont worry, buttress roots!her dogs were crazy.ok, national day 2moro.n so im gonna get my donuts.n so nites to all!

if you're still keen on reading my Delightful posts =))

2008-08-04T06:01:00.000-07:00

why dont we forgive & forget the way they always do in movies lol.maybe i misunderstood you like how u did to me and we couldnt see what we were doing till maybe next yr or next next yr.not that i care that much,just sick of your assumptions you love to make & then share.

picspicspics!

2008-08-03T07:09:00.000-07:00

ok!here goes a post full of pics.well random pics.so that my blog wont suck that much for now.enjoy!

amitabha centre.malacca!

my pretty dog.

malacca trip.

nic think she can escape the cam haha.

check out my freaky moves.& expression.& nics big smile =))

gab n me agn.chinese lesson too.forgot when.

chinese lesson!

cheryl + me!racial harmony.same face shape haha

gabbieng & me racial harmony.sry dunno how to rotate X)

our fruits & animals family!sec 3 camp.

so enjoyed?

2008-08-01T05:25:00.000-07:00

hohoho.4 tests over.only satisfied with bio nothing else.maybe emath?haha.maybe miracles exist.tryin to dl the EA spore game trial..but couldnt work haix.looks cool!creating your own creature frm head to toe,to eyes to wings, to tentacles and moves!its like sims really..just much cuter.wanna go shopping T_T online spree oso cant..bored.no time no money no figure.haha.want accessories and more eyeliner!waiting for breaking dawn.4th august.n twillight the movie!yay.
anyway,watched Dark Knight with Ze Ling.finished my ben & jerry's even b4 movie started.cherry garcia!btw,movie was worth it.like uber cool.joker was cool.and smart.go watch it ppl.well ok i noe my posts are boring..didnt upload pictures at all.lazy =D anyway no one visits cept nicole so nvr bother.wait ba.

Bella,Edward. <3

2008-07-24T06:34:00.000-07:00

haha ok title is random.ehh i noe now open blog timing not right but nvm.i feel so random i brought my blog back to life!but anyway.Im still not the bitch u made me in the fairytale you adopted.i noe myself better than anyone else,especially u & your dogs.*pants* 0.o now im lyk jay haha.i think i need to apologise to Wei Qiang.yeah i noe he dont read blogs but uh yeah.& to Eileen!i tot we shud alrdy get used to it.anyway,happpy blog opening for me!nites.

--

2008-07-24T06:12:00.001-07:00

first post.tryout