Friday, August 22, 2008
to you
hmm..understanding & compromising?so thats the theory uv arrived at?
i dont noe realli..i dont think i undersstand you at all.you used to say Yi Han does that alot better than me.i tried to, but maybe i didnt try hard enuf.all i can do is guess wads making u have all those roller coaster mood swings that, i think, u might enjoy suffering from.
you dont compromise much either, do u?il take wad u say n ponder about them, try to convince myself to be unselfish in this friendship. il go play bball wit u, even when i feel so humiliated.& not to mention, awkward.il end up going to the pool with u, after assuring myself over and over agn on the train, even when i was tired.i stomached the unhappiness when ur soul & mind isnt really there when we hang out.& most of the time, wer spending time together to resolve your problem and improve your mood when u felt dejected.i was always willing to spend time with u when u were distraught.well, maybe its because im not that popular with guys?so i nvr have that big a problem to be bothered?or maybe u didnt realised.that i nvr had the chance to share my problem wit u.& maybe, my problem was always too minor to be given attention to.why?because its not a guy problem?
i dont noe how u feel really.maybe u think ur the one suffering in this relationship.maybe u think im the selfish one who doesnt try to submit to our disputes.who doesnt understand and sympathise with you when you were suffering.maybe if u would just open up a lil, it would have been better.trust me, it takes alot to know ur bummed but ur not confiding in me.it makes me feel so...inadequate.yes i am fully aware, im not a good friend, that Yi Han is always better.& so is ur clique.you are, most of the time, saying hurtful things & making cruel comments i have to tolerate with.its not really my neglect to complain to others, its not that im not understanding or compromising, but i needed release.
you are the incomparable friend that i would want to keep for life, that i would love to constantly hang out with & not get tired of, who i would want to be across the table while enjoying ice cream, and to gossip while shopping with.all this, when we do not disagree with each other.you didnt want this friendship to turn out this way, neither do i.maybe time will heal.
you're exactly my brand of heroine.5:18 AM